Saturday, September 13, 2008

Loss and moving on

I just watched a John Edwards Crossing Over Show (which I've only seen a couple of times years ago).  There was a whole episode on families losing their sons.  One was a 20 year old who died in a motorcycle crash.  The other was a son who died of leukemia.  The messages John Edwards had from both of the sons was that they wanted the families to find a balance to return to their lives.  The 20 yr old wanted his father to know that he took responsibility for the accident, the motorcycle wasn't the problem, even though the father felt guilty that he shouldn't have let him have the motorcycle.  The father rides a motorcycle and feels that his son's spirit rides with him now. This is so what Tom is going through.  The families felt like a weight was being lifted from their shoulders.  How to give that kind of message to Tom, a skeptic when it comes to any "psychic" kind of stuff.  

John Edwards also showed some of his own home videos of his family celebrations of Christmas.  When John's grandma died, he stopped celebrating with the family.  He was acknowledging the pain that one feels, but also wanted to give the message that we need to celebrate ourselves, that even though that person is not there, some essence of them will be there with us.  It's something I've been wondering about.  Lauren is coming home for Christmas.  I've been bewildered about how to handle it.  We'll find a way.  Our grandson Robert will bring joy and celebration.


1 comment:

soloisok said...

I understand yet I have no answers. 27 weeks from today was the last time I saw my son alive. Tomorrow will be 27 weeks since I found him dead in his car. His birthday is coming October 2nd. I don't know how to handle that. Then will be Thanksgiving, which was the last time I had all my sons together. Then Christmas, the last big family get together we all shared. I thought we'd stay home and skip these events this year. Even though our family is very close, I have trouble being around everyone right now. Gary has decided we will go to the family events insisting that being around family will be better than sitting home alone and being sad. I don't know. I don't want to bring everyone down. I'm usually quite the life of the "party". Now I cry to even think about it just like I cry off & on all day everyday.

I'm thinking about having a get together with William's friends for his birthday. We see them all often and enjoy their visits, texts and messages. I bought opal (William's birthstone) pendants for William's brothers, girlfriend and closest friends to give to them on William's birthday.

In addition, there is a "Touched by Suicide" group in town. They are having a walk Nov. 1st. I'm thinking about signing up even though it will be mine and Gary's wedding anniversary.

I bounce between trying not to think about William to trying to find ways to honor him.

I've never paid attention to mediums since I feel that God forbids it yet I'm drawn to Lisa Williams shows and website. I'm extremely tempted to go to one of her appearences. Guess I'm just clinging to anything that helps me feel close to William.

I can't say that "I'm moving on"...