Another day, another year

Today is my 58th birthday.  It's hard to believe that I've lived so many years.  Up until recently, I kept wondering what I was going to be when I grew up.  Getting closer to retirement, I don't worry about it anymore.  Over the past year I've recognized I've achieved all that I want to in my career.  I have a great husband and kids, I live comfortably and life is good.  I AM what I'm going to be cuz I finally grew up!  Richard L. and I used to laugh about starting the Church of Popeye ~ I yam what I yam.  That kind of fits now.

I've aged tremendously in the last week.  We shouldn't have to outlive our children.  I will forever carry some level of longing to re-do this past week, to see our Andrew growing up, having his own family & career.  One result is that my achievements aren't driving me any longer.  I still do what is required of me ~ I take care of myself & others, I go to work, I take care of my dogs.  But now I'm trying to figure out what my focus should be.  It's confusing when you do everything that you know is right and good but something so tragic happens.

So some sadness on this birthday.  But some rebirth going on ~ that's always a good thing.