Lazy Sunday

Today is another lazy Sunday. The dogs wake me early every day with no thought of me sleeping in. Feeding, walking, playing, napping. Repeating cycles. They're pretty happy without a lot of variation, they like their habits. My natural habit is to always seek new experience and change. It has served me well. I've met a lot of people, lived in different places and have had an interesting life. Lately, I'm wanting to just experience being home. I know it's related to having lost Andrew. At first, I had no interest in anything. Nothing made sense in life, and my previous interests seemed to have no value. It was all I could do to get up, go to work, take care of each other, our pets and our house. My first reaction to anything is to want to decline, but I keep seeing others, going out, staying involved. I'm beginning to wonder when this will change. At least I'm thinking about it! That's some progress.

Lauren called me this weekend and we talked for an hour. She's finally excited about something again. She's been keeping herself busy with the baby. She finally felt the need to do something also. She's been taking one class to finish out her degree. So she found herself an internship. She called and bubbled about the internship for the longest time - something we hadn't seen in her since she lost her brother. I'm so proud of her for taking care of herself and continuing on her path. It's given her hope and future goals. I think it's helping me. We are supposed to be role models for our children, but what I'm learning is that when they become adults, we can become inspired by them. A continuous cycle of growth and change.

Andrew's friends continue to stay in touch with us. They drop by, leave messages on facebook. It's hard sometimes but it fills our hearts too. It's good to watch them moving on in their lives too. College classes have started up, some of the boys are joining the military, all supporting each other and coping.

It's a lazy Sunday but I feel ok!